(Re)Creating Carly











When I embarked on my quest to become debt-free, I decided that dating couldn’t be part of the equation. You see, when I’m dating, I have the tendency to spend a lot of money–on clothes, on my hair, on my nails, and if I really like ’em, on the guy. In fact, when scrutinizing my past credit card statements to try to figure out how the !$%@ I got myself in this mess, I noticed a GIGANTIC spike in spending during my last relationship with Mr. TooGoodToBeTrue.

So for the past few months, I’ve been lying low, focusing solely on paying down my debt. But ya know what they say — it’s lonely on the bottom. And sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I recently read two posts–Budget and the Beach’s, Confessions, lamenting singledom, and My Everyday Power Blog’s, Start Before You Are Ready, which had this little gem in it:

credit: everydaypowerblog.com

credit: everydaypowerblog.com

They got me debating the age old question–to date or not to date?– all over again.

I’m turning 39 in a few months. I should feel some sort of pressure about that, right? I don’t really — partly because I live in the Singles Capital of the World, and partly because I’ve loved and lost and loved and lost and… well, you get the idea. I’ve been there, done that. And I’m freakishly okay with not doing it again.

Sort of. Every now and then that little meddler inside my head starts whispering things about how nice it’d be to be in love again. How nice it’d be to have a life partner to share all the highs, lows and plain ol’ middles with. She also has no problem reminding me that I’m not getting any younger. Asshole.

But I’m afraid of a couple of things. First, I’m worried that dating will keep me from reaching my financial goals. For me, trying to date while recovering from debt is a little like a recovering alcoholic getting a job as a bartender.  I just know I’m going to spend a lot more money. And, second, I hate the idea of having to tell a potential love interest that I’m a financial disaster (for the moment, anyway). When you meet someone you like, you just want it to be all wow-you’re-so-awesome and i-can’t-believe-someone-as-amazing-as-you-exists. Or something like that. But when you also have to slip in, “By the way, I’m in massive amounts of credit card debt and my fun for the week consists of Swiss Miss and microwave popcorn,” suddenly, awesome-and-amazing takes a sharp dive towards he’s-just-not-that-into-you. Or so I’d imagine.

If I woman up and wait a year until I’m happily in the black, I can step back out into the dating world a financially secure love-seeking machine.  But, if I wait until, as the quote above says, “I’m ready,” maybe I’ll be waiting for the rest of my life. And, just maybe, I’ll miss out on something awesome-and-amazing right now.

What’s a broke girl to do?

I’m still leaning towards not dating for the moment–mostly because I’m pretty happy on my own, and love being focused solely on lil ol’ me for a change, but, I’m curious–What would you do? Have you ever dated while on a budget? How did you manage?

Advertisements


et cetera